When our heroes go wilding one night in a stolen vehicle, their shenanigans end in MURDER! Someone knows their secret, someone knows they’re scared, and someone knows what they did last Thursday! And this secret may kill them all! Remember, if you’re going to run over the truth, make sure it… stays… runned over. And will The Reaper be there to pick up the pieces…? Hang on to your ballsacks, True Believers!

The Kid sets up our intrepid “heroes” in the backyard for a little harmless target practice, but there’s no full metal jacket to keep them warm in this Hanoi Hilton because war is hell, this is no Hamburger Hill, and the fact that the casualties of war in this platoon were not born on the fourth of July is a bright and shining lie.

After a new Hero Lass action figure commercial sends HL into a crazed conniption, her concerned cohorts conceive a clever contrivance to console her… Also, Snake gets some! Also, our first attempt at nudity! Remember, there are some things, once seen, that you’ll never be able to unsee… And that goes double for this episode’s shawarma, so be sure to watch to the very end!

Hero Man’s gone missing, and the rest of the gang wonders where he could be. But upon his return, his tales of prison, sadistic cellmates, and, well, what happens to new guys in prison, leave them wishing they could forget. As usual, NFSFW. Unless you work somewhere really cool.

On a very special episode of Shelf Life… In torturing the sleeping Kid do our heroes actually come to a deeper understanding of him? Do they even, dare we say, begin to feel for him? Does Hero Man finally do something heroic?

Nah… But we’ll still wager that you will be changed by today’s episode of Shelf Life entitled, “Night Terrors!”